Hello Everyone,
Firstly thank you for your wonderful feedback and comments on my first little spiel. I am very touched that so many of you took the time to read it.
Today is my young brother’s heavenly birthday. Jonathon passed away after just being on earth for 11 months. I remember my parent’s grief. I remember the household having people coming and going and having so many people that loved us and cared for us as a family.
I remember understanding that this beautiful baby was no longer suffering even though the suffering in our hearts does not go away.
Grief is felt by people in many ways. Do not allow anyone to tell you how to grieve, do not judge anyone else on their way of grieving. Grief is a private emotion BUT !!! – here it comes – do not stay silent in your grief.
The ones that have passed are around us, talk to them, yell at them for leaving you, tell them your secrets, share your dreams with them, do not pretend they did not exist – do not try and act as if these people were not a part of your life.
One of the big questions I get in readings is – did they know I forgave them? Did they forgive me? Did I get the funeral right? You can have a conversation with your passed over loved ones and discuss anything you want with them
Sit quietly, close your eyes, imagine you are sitting at a round table with them, have a conversation. This is one of the most healing things you can do for yourself. Sit at their resting place if you need to.
I do not believe we ever get over missing someone, but we learn different ways to deal with the emotion of it. We learn to understand our grief in different ways. We begin to laugh more and cry less. Celebrate their birthdays, have that piece of cake or that shot of whiskey and say cheers. You can be guaranteed they are listening and watching.
One of the loveliest quotes I have read is “ When you are sorrowful look again in your heart and you will see that in truth you are weeping for that which has been your delight”. This was written to a friend of mine whose son passed away and I have asked her can I use it and share it. Of course, she suffers daily for her loss, but she holds comfort in the fact he once was her delight.
If you are friends with someone who is grieving, just be there, listen, do not make it about you just because you feel nervous about what to say next. Say “ I don’t know what to say”, that is better than saying nothing and not being there.
One other suggestion I give to people, and this is a very personal choice, is to make an alter to your loved one. Have all four elements- Earth, Wind, Fire and Water, so put the photo in a wooden frame, a plant or some fresh flowers and a candle is all that is needed. This can be done when ever and for as long as you wish.
There are other forms of grief as well I wish to talk about and that is grief of a lost relationship, loss of a job, loss of material objects. These are all genuine emotional traumas that can cause reactions within us.
I remember someone coming to see me once and asked did I collect angels, I said no I just buy a new one when a family member passes away. This is my thing I have them everywhere in the house and they all have their names. You do your thing. Plant a new plant, buy a new crystal, buy a new piece of jewelry, candles, but to honor our loved ones, our experiences, understand and accept the grief is vital to living our best life.
The personal journey we are all on is going to be very different and we will all see things as we are meant to see them. We have a choice though how we act and react to our emotions.
Understand your grief, ask for help if you feel overwhelmed by it and cannot get out from under the cloud of the grief.
This spiel is written due to the many deaths that have occurred in the past weeks, I have seen a lot of people that are hurting in the past two weeks and everyone of them has had a different story.
Have a wonderful day everyone.
Donagh Marquard
Intuitive Healings and Readings by Donagh
Astrologist & Psychic
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